EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A FEDERAL OFFENSE 30 YEARS AGO TO FLY a kite on the National Mall, the Washington, D.C., area is home to some of the most enthusiastic kite-flying festivals around: the Smithsonian Kite Festival, March 24, and the Maryland International Kite Exposition in nearby Ocean City, Maryland, April 2729. Residents will see thousands of kites aloft in preparation for these events. Considering the amount of hot air emanating from all quarters of late, keeping them up should be easy.
Since the windy last day of March is officially the first day of National Kite Month (which actually spans the five weeks until May 6), here are a few flights of fancy we at The Shuttle Sheet would like to see launched.
The AOL-Time Warner Kite-
An apparently friendly kite that devours all the other kites around it.
The FBI Kite-
Somebody’s watching you.
The Alan Greenspan Kite-
A green-and-gold model well-cushioned for a soft landing.
The Mary Matalin/James Carville Kite-
A bipartisan kite that spins and screams and screams and spins.
The Marty Schottenheimer Kite-
A football-shaped kite that is always the first down.